Amnesia? Is that my name?
by Chasingyesterday
Summary: AU, sorta. Ulquiorra lost her memory. All of it. She should still be the same old Cuarto Espada, right? Fem.Ulquiorra. CRACK!
1. Amnesia? Is that my name?

Amnesia? Is that my name?

AU, sorta. Ulquiorra lost her memory. All of it. She should still be the same old Cuarto Espada, right?

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm back with another story! Only this time, I'm writing my preferred genre, ****CRACK!**** This is one of my personal masterpieces. It will, eventually, be a GrimmUlqui love story, but not yet . . . I'm going to make Grimmjow suffer and beg for his reward . . .**

_Grimmjow: Reward?! I get a fucking reward for being in this shit?!_

**Yes. I am not so cheap as to derive you of payment for suffering. **

_Grimmjow: What do I get?_

**. . . –points to door-**

_-Ulquiorra walks in wearing a dress-_

_Grimmjow: -laughing-_

**Ulquiorra, you may do the honors . . .**

_Ulquiorra: Chasingyesterday doesn't own anything or anyone from Bleach. Thank Aizen . . . She does however own the idea of a female amnesiac me. And apparently a picture of Grimmjow sleeping in a basket . . ._

"She'll be fine. Maybe a little shaky, but Ulquiorra will make a full recovery. She'll be fine." Szayel assured his master, Aizen. He let out a satisfied grunt and left the Cuarta's room.

"So is Emo gonna wake up soon? Or is Sleeping Beauty gonna be comatose forever?" Grimmjow asked the pink haired Octavo as he sauntered into Ulquiorra's room. "Yes, Ulquiorra-sama will be fine. She'll be waking up soon."Szayel informed the Sexta. A small groan rose from the female's lips. "See? She'll be back to normal in no time!" the Grantz cried.

Grimmjow gazed at Ulquiorra with a frown on his lips. Great. His worst enemy was still alive. He stormed out of the room, sneering. Aizen would get his favorite toy back. Ulquiorra would be back to her old self, calling him trash. All was well, happily-ever-after. Whoopdy-freakin-do.

Each arrancar was required to watch Ulquiorra for a few nights, while Szayel rested, since he was the 'doctor'. Grimmjow had sat at the raven haired girl's bedside several times, just watching her sleep. It was infuriatingly boring. "Grimmjow, it's your turn to Ulqui-sit." Harribel informed him as she walked by. The Sexta grumbled, worst chore EVER.

7:00 sharp, Grimmjow arrived at the white door with the black 4 painted on it. He knocked on it roughly, shouting, "Szayel! I'm Ulqui-sitting tonight!" Ulqui-sitting was the name bestowed upon the tedious chore. The scientist opened the door and walked out, "Just don't kill her. And call me if she begins to stir." With that, Szayel stared off to his own room for some shut eye.

Their rooms were all the same. A bed, a closet, a lamp, a nightstand, a small wooden chair and a desk. The male Espada plopped down in it and gazed lazily at the sleeping girl.

The IV needle that penetrated the fragile white skin of the crook of her elbow glittered in the lamp's soft light. The IV was her source of nourishment during her coma. It kept her pitiful life going. An oxygen tube was hitched to her nose too. Grimmjow snorted, pathetic, clinging to life like she was.

The pale young arrancar moaned and murmured something in her sleep. Grimmjow, to his amazement, saw the green tear track tattoos on her cheeks glisten. Ulquiorra Ciffer was crying. She shuddered violently, but made no other drastic movements. "Must be a nightmare." he grunted. Still, it was strange to see Ulquiorra display any emotions. But she was in a coma . . .

Hours later Ulquiorra let out a loud gasp. Moments later she began to stir. The Sexta ran out Ulquiorra's door and across the hall to room #8. "Szayel, she waking up!" Grimmjow yelled as he pounded on the Octavo's door. He ran back a moment later, Szayel in tow. When they got there, Ulquiorra's eyes fluttered open. Big emerald orbs gazed at the ceiling. Ulquiorra struggled to sit. Grimmjow, being closer, helped his superior sit up. She smiled.

Ok, something was wrong there.

"Thank you . . . uhhhh . . . Do I know you?" Ulquiorra's voice held genuine emotion. Yup, something was definitely wrong. "I'm Grimmjow . . ." The Sexta told the girl. She giggled, "That's a funny name!"

"Amnesia! Oh crap!" Szayel nearly screamed. "Amnesia? Is that my name?" Ulquiorra asked, confusion placed on her face. "No, you're name is Ulquiorra Ciffer, the Cuarto Espada. Does that ring a bell?"

Ulquiorra adopted a thoughtful look, "Nope! Sorry, no bell. Should it?" Szayel moaned. "Wait!" Ulquiorra suddenly shouted, "I'm pretty sure that Espada means 'sword' . . ." Szayel smacked his forehead. Grimmjow stifled his laughter with his hand.

Life was good.

**Hahaha! I have this fic ALL planned out. Amazing, no? Hope you enjoyed the beginning! R&R or else! I'll send my buddies to hunt you down . . .**

_Grimmjow: Who?_

**You would, on catnip . . .**

_Grimmjow: Catnip?_

**Zetsu . . .**

_Grimmjow: Catnip?!_

**Kakuzu, if I paid him . . .**

_Grimmjow: CATNIP?!_

**Oh! And Axel if I kidnapped Roxas for ransom.**

_Grimmjow__: __CATNIP!! I WANT SOME NIP! GIMME MEH NIP!_

**I don't have catnip. (lying) The reviewers do. Maybe if you're nice to them, they'll share.**

_Grimmjow: I promise I won't kill you if you give me some nip!_

**Review please!**

_Grimmjow: . . . nip?_

**Ulquiorra has some.**

_Ulquiorra: What? I do not have any-_

_Grimmjow: CATNIP!! –Tackles Ulquiorra-_

**-Takes photo- Blackmail . . . Muwahahahahahaha! R&R! (I know I'm mad)**


	2. Master, are you French?

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! And I have learned a funny song . . . but I'll sing it later. **

Grimmjow: I hate this . . .

**Would you rather lose your arm or baby-sit her? **_**–points to Ulqui singing the happy song in the corner-**_

Grimmjow: I'd rather lose my arm!

**That can be arranged . . . –smiles evilly-**

Grimmjow: I change my mind – what did you do to him?

**Him is now a Her and I'm not particularly certain. This old shack is a death trap, anything could have bonked her on the head . . . by the way, do you like her dress?**

Grimmjow_: -obviously not staring at the dress-_

**Pervert! **_**–smacks him-**_

Grimmjow: What did I do?!

Szayel: Yesterday-chan does not own anything besides the plots that she has hatched in her unstable mind.

**Thank you Szayel – Hey! **

Chapter 2

Grimmjow watched Ulquiorra the whole time Szayel checked his monitors and drew some blood. She looked pretty curious up until Szayel revealed the silver syringe. She glanced at Grimmjow, a pleading look on her stark white face. The Cuarto was searching for comfort in his aqua eyes. When she found none, her own emerald orbs glistened with tears.

"Don't start crying. That's pathetic, cryin' 'bout a teeny needle. You're an Espada. You're supposed to be tough. Not act like a little kid." Grimmjow told her scathingly. She blinked several times, absorbing the cruel toned words that came from the blue haired man. Her doll-like face twisted into one of pure determination, apparently drawing some form of comfort from Grimmjow's lecture.

Szayel showed a brief flicker of surprise, but it vanished upon drawing Ulquiorra's dark crimson blood. "I'll just run a few tests . . . then you can go back to-" "Who are you?" Ulquiorra questioned Szayel. The Octavo flushed, the girl was rather blunt. And very impolite. This couldn't possibly be Ulquiorra; this ivory skinned woman had to be someone else. But the gothic black four tattooed over her breast, the green tear tracks, the hole in her throat, the half of a bone white helmet, unmistakably belonged to Ulquiorra.

"Well?!" she was irritated now, her eyes narrowed in distaste. "Szayel Aporro Grantz, Octavo Espada." Szayel answered quickly. "Do you have a last name?" Ulquiorra turned to the bluenette. "Jaegerjaquez. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." Ulquiorra giggled loudly. Her giggles rapidly evolved into peals of laughter. Soon she was breathless, a smile not unlike Gin's on her face.

"Are you French?" She choked out, grinning broadly.

Grimmjow growled.

Two days later Ulquiorra was free and no longer bed-ridden. She had remembered absolutely nothing over that small period, but Szayel assured Aizen that the amnesia was temporary. He also said that this Ulquiorra was no different than the original. This was where Grimmjow snorted trying to hold back his laughter. This really seemed to upset Aizen.

Of course, the arrancar they were all referring to was sound asleep, so Aizen wasn't aware of the personality changes.

"Grimmjow." Aizen's voice was dangerously calm, "Since you deem this issue trivial, than perhaps, for the time being, Ulquiorra will become your fraccion. After all, you were such . . . 'close' friends . . ." Grimmjow's smirk slid off his face immediately. This was about his little crusade to the human world, wasn't it?! He'd nearly lost his arm as a result, was this his actual punishment? Most likely, yes.

That little episode happened about an hour ago. Ulquiorra woke up, was told that she would be Grimmjow's fraccion until she recovered, and squealed in delight. Aizen looked startled.

"Yay! I'm . . . what's your name?" She asked quickly. "Grimmjow" he answered automatically. "Right! Grimmjow! I'm Grimmjow's fraccion! We'll be _best friends_ and we'll have so much fun! Yay!" Great, just great. His worst enemy just got even more irking, and now, NOW she was HIS FRACCION!

One hour with the New Ulquiorra hit Huego Mundo like an asteroid. Espada and Numeros alike were running and screaming through the halls, yelling about 'the apocalypse' and how it was a 'sign of the end'.

Grimmjow sauntered through the halls, moving towards the direction of his room, and unfortunately, Ulquiorra's room. Ulquiorra skipped behind him, singing. " ~Best friends, best friends, best of all best friends. Do you have a best friend too? ~ " Oh why? What did he do to deserve this?

"Hey Grimmjow! How's your new 'pet'?" To make a bad day worse . . . add Nnoitra. The pervert towered over little Ulquiorra, grinning his eerie smile. Innocent as a baby (she had no memories, so yeah, she was a baby . . .) the ex-Cuarta stared up at Nnoitra, falling down on her bottom in an attempt to try and recognize him. With critical emerald eyes, she watched the spoon for several minutes. Maybe if Grimmjow hadn't decided to intervene at that time she would have stared at him all day with that speculating stare.

"Ulquiorra. Come on." The panther Espada called, sounding gruff. "Yes Grimmy-sama!" Ulquiorra chirped, springing up and running to her 'master's' side. Grimmjow's aqua eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She did not . . .

"Grimmy-sama?!" Nnoitra wiped away a fake tear, "Oh that's rich! Yes Grimmy-sama? I'll do whatever you say Grimmy-sama!" He imitated in an annoyingly high falsetto. "Grimmy-sama! Grimmy-sama! Grimmy-OWWW!" Nnoitra exclaimed as a bright green beam blasted the Quinta through the wall and into a panicky Yammy. Grimmjow turned to his fraccion. Ulquiorra stood calm, unsmiling, her forefinger extended in Nnoitra's direction. "Trash." She spat. Grimmjow's hopes soared. Old Ulquiorra was back!

"Don't you _ever _make fun of my Master! I'll destroy you, trash!" His hopes sank back into that dark abyss that killed them dead. "Ulquiorra, come on." Grimmjow muttered, slightly pissed. Ulquiorra followed without further ado. Once far away from any sentient life, Grimmjow hissed at Ulquiorra, "Never. Call. Me. That. Again."

A worried expression took on Ulquiorra's doll-like face, "Y-yes Master!" she stammered, fear tainting her emerald orbs. Oh shit! Tears! Shit, shit, shit, shit . . . And the waterworks began. "I-I'm s-so s-s-s-sorry M-m-master! I-I-I'm s-sorry!" She wept, rubbing her tears away from her eyes with an ivory fist. Grimmjow sighed, why did he have to deal with this?

"Look . . ." He began in an attempt to calm her down, "Ulquiorra, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to be so harsh . . ." His apology sounded fake and forced and somewhat agitated, but it seemed to please the younger arrancar. She smiled, her cheeks glistening with tears, but her eyes weren't producing them anymore. That was good.

The two walked in silence. Ulquiorra was humming, but Grimmjow assumed that it was as close as silent as she could get.

"Master?"

Grimmjow was beginning to hate that title too. "Yes?" he grumbled.

"You never answered my question about being French."

**End Chapter 2**

**Cute? Funny? Stupid? Let me know! I'll explain Ulqui's 'accident' later on. And Luppi will be replacing someone, but not Grimmjow.**


	3. Ulquiorra is like a 6 yearold

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**Hello! This is where I would usually say something important.**

Ulquiorra: But she has nothing important to say

**Exactly, so . . . **

Ulquiorra: Chasingyesterday owns nothing but the ideas which she shares with you.

**Ok, you can read now.**

**One Month Later**

If Zomari wasn't already dead, Grimmjow would have killed him.

He started this whole problem. With his stupid idea to trip Aaroniero the Weirdo. It was right after an Espada briefing; everyone was filing out, himself being at the end of the line. The Sexta witnessed the entire accident. Zomari tripped Aaroniero, who fell into Ulquiorra. Being fairy light like she was, the Emospada fell, with Aaroniero following. The impact or whatever shattered the glass that kept his heads inside, and the razor sharp glass managed to slice through Ulquiorra's hierro, penetrating her skull. Grimmjow actually felt sorry for her for a split second. Then he scorned her for dying in such a pathetic way. Aaroniero was perfectly fine, after all, shit like that happened to him daily.

Zomari was killed for injuring his superior in a practical joke. Meaning he was killed for messing with Aizen-sama's favorite pet. His death was wonderfully gory. Grimmjow got an arm. It was rather delicious. Aizen-sama created a replacement for Zomari the next day. His name was Luppi, and, he looked _way _more girly than Ulquiorra, the old Ulquiorra that is. The new Ulquiorra was more feminine than her past self.

And way more annoying.

Ulquiorra was like a six year-old. A very tiring six year-old.

"Master? Can I have candy?" She questioned, skipping beside him. Grimmjow's eye twitched. "No. No candy. No candy for you ever. Never again!" A brief flashback of her plus candy surfaced. Grimmjow shuddered, that day was not fun. At ALL.

"Why?" She pestered him with her whiney voice. Damn, why was she even following him?! His other fraccion didn't follow him around like she did (when they were alive, that is). She was like a little lost puppy, with her innocent look, her happy yet lost aura, her cute viridian eyes . . . Her annoying viridian eyes.

"Because last time you nearly destroyed the kitchen looking for more . . ." The panther stated in a low monotone. The amnesiac let out a depressed sigh. Grimmjow felt this close to strangling the girl next to him. But then he felt her stare on his back. Her patented puppy dog stare, potent with cuteness. He was going soft . . .

"Fine! I'll go find some flippin' candy for ya'! Happy?" The bluenette snarled. "Yay!" Ulquiorra jumped for joy. "Guess we're goin' to Karakura Town . . ." Grimmjow drawled. Candy, after all, was only found in the human world.

Kisuke Urahara was tending to his shop when he spotted two figures in the distance. Or rather a tall figure chasing a smaller figure that was running straight for him.

The smaller figure was a pale, raven headed girl with green eyes. She wore a simple pleated skirt with a baggy tee, the slack taken and used to tie it up, exposing a pale, toned tummy. She was also barefoot. The form chasing after her was tall, teal haired kid, dressed in the uniform of a punk, ripped jeans, chains, crimson tee shirt, and black combat boots. His cyan orbs reflected slight fear as he ran towards the girl.

"Hey mister! Do ya sell any candy?" She chirped in a sing songy voice as she came up to the shop. "Why yes. Yes I do . . ." Kisuke answered. "NO! DON"T GIVE IT TO HER! DON"T FALL FOR THE PUPPY DOG EYES! IT"LL BE THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!" The blue haired kid yelled as he came closer. "Pweese?" the dark haired girl begged.

Kisuke smiled, "Sure", handing the strange young woman a lollipop. The teal haired man screamed. The two people standing in the store's shadow starred at him with bemusement. The bluenette sighed when he reached the girl and the shop owner. "Ok, how much do I owe ya?" He asked between gasps. "No, no, it's on the house." Kisuke chided. "You have quite a girlfriend . . ." He whispered with a wink.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Grimmjow shouted in shock.

"Szayel, are you a chick?"

The pink haired man made a small choking noise. What in Hueco Mundo would give her THAT idea? Grimmjow chuckled lightly at his place leaning against the doorframe. The two had come in for the amnesiac's bi-weekly check up. It was boring, long, and useless in Grimmjow's opinion. It was an opportunity to annoy Szayel for Ulquiorra. Just like this time.

"Well?! Are you?!" Ulquiorra raised her voice slightly, anger increasing. "What gives you that idea?!" Szayel said, his voice high with shock. "Well . . . You have pink hair, you're obsessed with your appearance, you buy more make-up from the human world than me, Halibel, Sun-Sun, Mila-Rose, Apache, Loly, and Monoly combined, and Master says you act like a sissy. " She listed in her mater-of fact voice.

The Octava's temper reached its boiling point. Grimmjow snickered, _Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn! _ "So Szayel, where are your boobs? Cause every girl has 'em, 'cept little human girls . . ." "Wh-!" "I'm askin' because Master called you a transsexual. That was mean, so I said you were just a tomboy like Apache. But Master said I was wrong, so we made a bet and I wanna win! So Szayel, are you a girl?" Ulquiorra chattered earnestly about the 'bet' she made with her 'Master', often becoming repetitious.

"No." Szayel answered firmly.

"What?" the young woman stopped mid-sentence. "I am male." Szayel told her. Ulquiorra blinked. "No!!!!!!!!!!!!" She kicked Szayel viciously where the sun don't shine* "That's for making me lose my bet!" She screamed, lashing out at the hurting man. "Way to kick a man when he's down." The bluenette commented dryly.

"I lost the bet . . ." Ulquiorra pouted, looking very adorable. Grimmjow mentally kicked himself. _She's cute now, but when her memories come back . . ._ _back to little Miss prissy emo._

"Well, you know what I win . . ." Grimmjow reminded the dark haired girl. She saluted him, "If I don't return Master, remember to clean your room. It's smelly." And she was off, running down the hall. The panther grinned. _Tomorrow . . . REVENGE!_

It was 3:00 am and someone was running through Las Noches singing at the top of their lungs and banging a stick against the doors.

" _~ I __am really special cause there's only one of me!  
Look at my smile; I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me!  
When I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song,  
It cheers me up and shows me I won't be sad for long  
Oh, Oh, Oh -~"_

"What the hell? Who runs through the halls at 3?" Nnoitra screamed as the racket neared. Halibel walked out into the hall with a Po-ed expression, "Someone's gonna lose something dear to them . . ."

" _~ I am so happy  
I can barely breathe  
Puppy dogs, sugar frogs, kittens, baby teeth!  
Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy, it's hard core,  
I'm happier than a coupon for a twenty dollar- ~ "_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Grimmjow was exploding with laughter, clutching his sides. Szayel looked at him with bleary eyes, "What –yawn- did you do?"

" _~ I am so Happy  
I'm sugar-coated me!  
Happy good,  
Anger bad,  
that's my philosophy! ~ "_

Aaroniero opened the door of his room only to be hit on the head with a stick. Yammy rubbed his eyes with one giant fist, "What's going on?!"

" _~I am really special cause there's only one of me!  
Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me!  
Here are my love handles, here is my spout  
But if you tip me over than Momma said knock you out! ~ "_

Gin, Tosen (closely followed by Wonderweiss), and Aizen stormed down the hall towards the disturbance's source. Starrk walked out only to fall asleep in the hallway despite the noise. Luppi blinked lazily, "Are we under attack?"

" _~ I am happy, I am good, I am gonna heave!  
Welcome to my Happy World, now get your shit and leave!  
I am Happy, I am good, I am . . .~ "_

Ulquiorra rounded the corner in a skimpy school girl's clothing carrying a big stick, singing at the top of her lungs.

" _~ I'm outta here!  
Screw you! ~ "_

She pointed at a bleeding Nnoitra as she yelled the last line of the song. Grimmjow burst into another round of laughter. The Quinta wiped the blood from his nose and growled, throwing the Sexta the most violent look he could muster. Halibel shuffled back into her room. Tosen made a small coughing noise, Gin let out a perverted giggle. Aizen stared, not noticing the fact that he was drooling. Grimmjow eventually stopped laughing.

The hall was silent.

Wonderweiss broke the silence after several moments.

"She pretty."

*she hit him in the nuts. That's my nice way of putting it.

**Oh. One more thing. I refuse to update until I get 5 reviews from 5 different people. So I you wish for me to continue, review!**

**Ok, I was wrong, one more thing I gotta say, send me ideas! What crazy stunt should Ulquiorra pull next?! I need your help, oh powerful reviewers!**


	4. Ulquiorra entertains herself in odd ways

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**Here and Behold! Chapter 4! Yeah, I've got nothing to say here . . .**

**~*~**

Ulquiorra has unusual ways of entertain herself.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Grimmjow yelled at the sight of his 'fraccion' sitting on his bed, talking on the phone, and eyeing his secret stash! "I'm ordering pizza." She answered simply, tossing his little bag high in the air. "STOP IT! NO! DON"T DO THAT! YOU DON"T KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET THAT?!" " . . . oooooooooooooooooooooo Master's a drug addict!" Grimmjow gave her a half amused, half baffled look. "Can't you read? That's my nip!" Ulquiorra looked at the lettering on the small package. "Whisker City Premium Catnip . . . oooooooooooooo! Master can't have catnip! Aizen-sama told Ulquiorra that her Master _absolutely positively cannot_ have catnip!"

"Give me my-" Ulquiorra silenced him with a quick look, "I'm on the phone!"

"Hello?" -Ulquiorra

_-"Hi! This is Pizza Hut; may I take your order?"- _Pizza guy

" . . . . Why did you call me?"

_-"Uh, ma'am, you called us."-_

"No I didn't."

_-"Yes, I'm afraid you did."-_

" –sob- Do you know what it's like to be lied too?"

_-". . . Ma'am?"-_

"Yeah!"

_-"Do you want to order?"_

" . . . Hey . . . do I know you from somewhere? . . . Ah-ha! Bed-wetter's camp, right?!"

_-"No . . ."_

(Angrily) "Didn't we establish I don't like being lied to?!"

_(Playing along) –"Oh yeah! I remember you!"-_

"Really? Because I don't."

_(Confused) –"Um . . . what would you like to order?"_

"Term life insurance."

_-"This is Pizza Hut, we sell pizza-"-_

"Oh!"

-"_Would you like to order something?"_

"Oh! You mean now?!"

_(Growling)_

"I would like pepperoni . . . (slaps her forehead) No I don't . . . Um . . . mushrooms and pineapple! . . . No . . . they'd start a fight . . ."

_-". . . I can't believe this . . ."_

"How many dolphins were killed to make that pizza?"

_-"Uh . . . none?"-_

"Interesting . . ."

_-"Would you like to try our famous Cheese pizza?"-_

"I shall not be swayed by your sweet words . . ."

"_Um . . . ok?"_

"I'll order a pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, anchovies, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños , and peppers."

_-"So that'll be a pizza with_ _pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, anchovies, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños, and peppers."_

"No, why'd you include anchovies? I hate anchovies-"

"I like anchovies." Grimmjow interrupted, earning himself a glare from his fraccion. (Anchovies are fish. Cats like fish. Therefore, Grimmjow likes fish.)"SHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm ON THE PHONE!" Ulquiorra yelled.

"_Sorry, so it's a pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños , and peppers, right?"_

(Sigh) "Nooooooo! I want pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños , peppers AND ham on my pizza."

_-"Pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños , peppers and ham, right?"-_

". . . . . You just don't get it do you? I want pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, curry, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños, peppers and ham."

_-"You want pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, curry, sausage, olives, onions, jalapeños, peppers and ham."-_

"Again, but this time, say it a little more oomph."

_-"What the hell?!"- _

"Tsk, tsk, swearing is uncouth."

_-". . .That'll be 19.99"-_

"Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

-"_Will that be all?"-_

"We'll find out, now wont we? See you in 30 minutes! Or not! Then I get free pizza!"

Ulquiorra hung up.

"That pizza, you won't be getting it." Grimmjow told the dusky haired girl. "Why not?" She whined. "You didn't give them our address. And even if they had our address you still wouldn't get the pizza." The panther Espada explained. "Why not?!" She whined. _Damn I hate her whining . . ._

"Humans can't use Gargantas."

~*~

**Month Two**

Ulquiorra wasn't following him around like a little lost puppy now, much to Grimmjow's immense pleasure. She had, instead, taken up some 'Grimmjow-like' habits, such as cat napping and swearing. My how a coma and amnesia can change a person . . .

Ulquiorra was currently sitting outside in Las Noches' fake sun, making small sand castles. She had invited Halibel, several Numeros, and some fraccion. So Halibel, Mila-Rose, Telsa, Lilynette, Wonderweiss and Apache joined Ulquiorra in her sand construction.

"What the hell-?!" Grimmjow walked outside to get some practice with Pantera only to step on a mound of sand. "MASTER!!!" Shrieked a loud, hurt, and angry voice. Ulquiorra. "YOU HURT MY SAND CASTLE!!!" She yelled, jumping up and weaving her way through Wonderweiss's 'castles' (more like mounds of sands). "YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!" With that she burst into tears and ran inside the palace. Halibel stood, a look of silent fury on her half-covered face.

-SLAP!-

"How could you make something so innocent cry? Do you enjoy hurting the poor girl?!" She hissed. Mila-Rose, Telsa, Lilynette leaped up and ran inside, most likely to comfort the crying fraccion. Apache and Wonderweiss followed the group, only a bit slower. Halibel left fuming after them. Grimmjow rubbed his stinging cheek tenderly . "What the hell?!"

~*~

Ulquiorra whipped the tears from her eyes, she felt much better now. After all, her Master probably didn't mean it. She skipped down the hall, pondering on what act of fun she would commit next to end her boredom. She spotted Yammy and an evil smile lit up the face of 'Las Noches' angel'. She knew what to do to quench her boredom.

Grimmjow found his 'innocent' little fraccion in the arrancar living room along with Yammy, Starrk, and Nnoitra. The males were too absorbed in their show they didn't notice Ulquiorra sitting on a stool in the corner, firing ink pellets through their hollow holes. 50 points if it went through Starrk's, 75 if it went through Yammy's and 100 if she could nail Nnoitra's eye patch.

"200 points! Yeah!" She cheered as Grimmjow felt the tiny projectile sail through his hollow hole. He sighed. "Come on Ulqui . . ." He mumbled as he dragged the childish arrancar out of the room. He could have sworn he heard sighs of relief coming from the couch.

~*~

Grimmjow woke up the next morning to . . . nothing. No shouting, no Ulquiorra banging on his door, no explosions, nothing. Something was up. Tip-toeing out of his room, Grimmjow scanned the hallway. No movements what-so-ever. That's right about when he noticed the walls.

Grimmjow stood, mouth agape, at the most life-like picture he's ever seen.

~*~

**Ooooooo, Cliffy! Hahaha, I'm evil. Well I'm asking for 5 more reviews before I move to the next chapter. So review! Past reviewers who gave me ideas, do not fear! That's all in the next chapter. I have it all planned out, but I'll be needing more ideas! What wacky act of mayhem do you want to see Ulqui do next?**


	5. Ulquiorra is an artist

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**Ahem, I actually have something important to say here. I would like to say thank you to RubyGirl12345 and Azelf1717 for their **_**lovely**_** ideas –evil laugh-**

~*~

Ulquiorra is an artist.

It was a huge, mural like drawing of all the arrancar. Grimmjow saw Halibel in her Resurrection form surrounded by her fraccion. Barragan sat on his ridiculous throne, his fraccion around the Segundo. Starrk was captured perfectly sleeping in the hallway, released form as well. Zomari in his released form, Aaroniero in his, and Yammy's took up a good five square feet. Luppi, released, was in the painting too. Resurrected Nnoitra held his strange weapons in his four arms, Telsa at his side. Szayel stood among his deformed fraccion, his older brother on his left. Ilforte was his fraccion, so his part of the mural was close.

Grimmjow spotted that familiar horned half helmet. Ulquiorra stood crouched, fishing around in her pile of colors, searching for the right one. The marker she picked up was teal. She straightened and reached at high above her head as she could. Standing on her tip-toes, she began to draw.

Ten minutes had passed. The feline Resurrection known as Grimmjow's had appeared in no time. The portrait looked so life like, like he was going to jump right out of the painting and slash you with his claws. The 2-D Sexta was soon surrounded by his fraccion. Ulquiorra proceeded to draw Gin and Tousen and Aizen on his throne between them was.

The bluenette looked over the mural. One arrancar was missing. All the números and Privaron were there, but one person was missing.

The artist herself.

"You forgot yourself." The panther stated bluntly as the girl finished Aizen's throne. "I don't know what my Resurrection looks like . . ." Her voice was quiet, sad sounding as well. "But that's ok! I don't mind, it looks awesome!" She turned to Grimmjow, "Don't you think so Master?" "Yeah . . ." The bluenette answered.

He genuinely meant it.

~*~

Everyone doted on the little artist for her masterpiece, and Grimmjow had to admit it, she deserved the attention. For once. The mural remained on the wall; Aizen was even nice enough to pull up some magic shit to make it permanent. Ulquiorra was ecstatic. "Master! Master! Master! Master! Look! Aizen-sama made it permanent! It's gonna stay there forever!"

That very day, in secret, Gin met with the ivory arrancar. That meeting changed the lives of all in Las Noches.

"Ulqui-chan! I got a present fer ya! Special paint!" He giggled as he handed the small girl a big can. "Paint . . ." She whispered, looking it over. "Yep! Special paint! Just fer walls! That's what it's made fer! Walls." He pulled a wagon full of stacked cans out of the shadows. "Just one thing. I like the color yellow." Ulquiorra nodded quickly understanding what her superior was saying.

~*~

In one night, while everyone was asleep, Ulquiorra painted all of Las Noches in wild ways.

Where did she even get the paint?!

-:-

Nnoitra woke up as usual; to the pigsty of a space he called his room. He blinked. His room had been freshly painted during the night. His room walls were splatter painted. What was very interesting about the job was that every object in the room was in the exact position he'd left it, but the wall was perfectly painted, even behind his bed's headboard.

"Holy fuck!"

-:-

Halibel yawned and stretched. She opened her eyes and catching sight of the bright walls she leapt out of the bed. Her once white room was now painted to look like a real human world starry night. It was beautiful in the Tercera's opinion. It was already dry too, even though it appeared during the night.

"Looks good . . ."

-:-

Szayel, having fallen asleep while working at a table, awoke with a start. His lab had been painted sakura petal pink with lime green pokadots! Even the pink ceiling had dots. Szayel's mouth opened in a silent scream as his face contorted in a horrified expression

"MY LAB!!!!!"

-:-

Acid green with purple squiggles met Yammy's eyes that morning. He rubbed his eyes with giant fists. Over and over again, repeating the same phrase over and over . . .

"I'm dreaming!"

-:-

Luppi screamed. His room was painted the ugliest color ever! It was black with little skulls and bones randomly painted all over. His room was so depressing! He could scream!

So he did.

-:-

Aaroniero woke up in the middle of a forest. Trees were all over . . . What happened? Last he knew, he'd fallen asleep in his room. And there wasn't a forest in Hueco Mundo. And forests don't have carpet. The forest was his room; it was just painted to look like woods.

"The person who drew this really made it look life like . . . Hey! Where's my bed?!"

-:-

Starrk opened one eye. His room looked different . . . It was orange . . . That's different . . . Oh well, the Primera was tired. Lilynette, of course, had to come in and scream.

"Starrk! Did you paint your room orange?!"

-:-

Barragan stared at his wall in anger. His white room was now painted to look like a flower garden! It was unacceptable!

"Whoever did this will ultimately suffer!"

-:-

Sosuke Aizen glared at the walls that surrounded him. Someone had painted fruit all over them. Apples, pears, bananas, pineapples, strawberries, blueberries, guavas, mangos, passion fruit . . . the King of Hueco Mundo couldn't even name all of them!

"Well . . . It could be worse . . ."

-:-

Gin loved his room. It was waaaaaay better than when it was painted white. It was painted to look like fire was consuming the walls around him. The ex-captain expected it to be painted a simple yellow. He had totally underestimated Ulquiorra's artistic skills.

"This is awesome! It's waaaaaay better than I thought it would be!"

-:-

Tousen could not see his room, therefore he did not notice that it was painted an overly bright yellow and decorated with teeny-tiny chicks and cute little duckies. Wonderweiss, however, did notice.

"Birdies." He cleverly pointed it out to his companion.

-:-

Grimmjow stretched, yawned and dragged himself out of his bed. He gazed at the sky blue paint that coated his room. Just a simple baby blue. Only one person could have done it.

"Ulquiorra."

~*~

Grimmjow wandered around the castle, checking every room for his fraccion. He found the petite arrancar asleep on the cold tile floor of a spacious room. Shapes drawn in multiple colors were painted on the white walls. Her ivory face was peaceful, smudged with light blue pigment. Her white uniform was rumpled and stained with all the colors known to man. Sighing, the Sexta scooped up his fraccion and proceeded to walk out of the beautifully painted room.

"Ulquiorra . . . you can really be a pain sometimes . . ." He muttered to the girl's sleeping form. " . . . paint . . . blue . . . Master's hair . . . my favorite . . ." She murmured in her sleep. Grimmjow blinked. Her favorite color was blue?! Like his hair?!

He found that information to be both sweet and creepy.

But it _was_ Ulquiorra he was talking about.

Damn girl was like a fungus.

She really grew on ya.

~*~

**Hope you liked it! Remember, 5 Review Before Update Policy! Yes! I will reinforce this policy. And one of those review has to have an idea. A mayhem inducing idea. She could also have an accomplice . . . say Grimmjow on the Nip? Or maybe Gin? Or Szayel on a sugar high? Heed these words an the next update will be soon. Very soon.**


	6. Ulquiorra plus Gin equals Trouble

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**RubyGirl12345, Azelf1717, Muchas Gracias for your idea. Let the epic-ness commence NOW!!!**

**TELSA GAVE ME SWINE FLU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I is sick. **

~*~

Ulquiorra plus Gin equals trouble

Grimmjow smirked. His Fraccion was a genius, spiking Aizen's tea with sake. She practically poured the whole bottle of the alcohol in the cup. She giggled softly as she stirred the 'tea'. "What're you planning?" Grimmjow asked, smirking as his fraccion placed Aizen's cup on the tea tray.

"You'll see!" She snickered, exiting the kitchen carrying the tea tray carefully. She set Aizen's cup down on its saucer in front of the man's seat. She then proceeded to place cups of tea for everyone else, excluding her master. She gave him a cup of warm milk.

The panther glanced down into his cup and glared at the steamy white contents. "Oh ha ha ha . . . very funny." He sarcastically called out to the petite fraccion who was returning the tea tray to its place. "Gin-nii gave me this idea." She confided with him. This only made Grimmjow smirk grew larger. If Gin and Ulquiorra were the engineers of the prank, than the prank would _so_ fuckin hilarious.

As it would turn out, Aizen was a happy drunk. Perhaps Gin had known this. While he was busy making a fool out of himself during the meeting, Gin brought in a karaoke machine. Ulquiorra brought in the lesser arrancar.

It was one hell of a rave. Aizen – well Grimmjow had to cover his innocent little fraccion's eyes for that.

~*~

"CAR SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted a high pitched voice from atop the roof of Las Noches. Grimmjow's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. Ulquiorra was standing on the edge of the white palace's roof, screaming about cars. Grimmjow sighed when he spotted that familiar head of silver hair next to her.

"CAR SALE!!!!" Grimmjow managed to reach the top of the stairs, an amazing feet, seeing as it was over a mile high. He spotted Nnoitra haggling with Starrk about the price of a black Lamborghini. Hold on . . . that was a black Lamborghini Reventon, the second most expensive car in the human world! And since when was Starrk so . . . energetic?

"Hello sir! May I interest you with a brand new SSC Ultimate Aero**?** It's the fastest legal street car in the world with a top speed of 257 mph+ and reaching 0-60 in 2.7 seconds! It has enough power to top the most expensive car in a speed race! And you, my friend, look like the street racing type!" Starrk yakked away with so much energy it made Grimmjow wonder if he was in his right mind. The Sexta glanced at the car, it was blue . . . and fast . . . and most likely stolen . . . but it was so fast . . .

" . . . How much?!" He whispered, giving in to the temptation. "1,000 bucks." That was cheap, considering the car. But he didn't exactly have a thousand on him. Or anywhere near him. "How about . . ." the bluenette fished around in his pocket for some cash. "$ 5 and . . . a paper clip?"

"Ahhh . . . No."

"Hey Master! Ya gonna buy a car? Me and Gin got 'em from a human world store! They were just sittin' there in the window, all alone." Grimmjow slapped his forehead. _Ulquiorra . . ._

Then the Shinigami had to show up. "I don't get it. Why would arrancar steal a bunch of car?!" The loud one with the pineapple head complained. "Shut up! We aren't supposed to question our orders! Just get the Captain's cars back!" The tiny one, Rukia snapped.

"YOU STOLE THE CARS FROM SOUL SCOSIETY CAPTAINS?!" He screamed. Nnoitra chose this moment to walk by. "Someone needs to use their litter box!" He sang in his annoying stupid voice. "Shut up, shit face!" He snarled at the spoon. "Hey!" The Quinta put up his hands in self-defense, "Don't you know the rules, Ulqui-chan? Pets gotta be on their leashes at all times!" "They sell cat leashes?!" The ivory girl exclaimed, stunned.

"Grimmjow . . ." Said cat spun around to face the berry head Shinigami.

"Kurosaki . . ." He hissed.

"Ulquiorra!" Said girl squealed. The bluenette pushed her out of the way. "Stay outta this! This is my fight!" He barked (strange for a kitty). The Ciffer's emerald eyes widened and her black and white mouth formed a perfect capital o.

"MASTER!" She screeched, "YOU DON'T FIGHT CUTOMERS!" Turning to the frozen Ichigo, she smiled. "Would you like to buy a car?"

"What the hell?! You stole these cars!" He shouted. Ulquiorra gasped, "Sir, I am not a thief! I took in these abandoned cars! They were all lonely and covered with dust . . ." Ichigo stared at the rambling fraccion. "Weren't you that one Espada?" He blurted out. "What?" Ulquiorra gave him a 'huh?' look. "I'm not an Espada! Dude, what the fuck? Master's an Espada, not me!" She informed him with her new-found language.

The substitute Shinigami looked ready to come back with something to say, but a blue SSC Ultimate Aero backed up into him, knocking him down. When he came to a few minutes later, he growled and scanned the area for the perpetrator. "Whoops! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!" Grimmjow smirked from the Aero's front seat. "Dude, what the hell?" Ichigo shouted. Ulquiorra made a tsk-ing noise. "Kurosaki, if you're gonna swear, do it right. The term is 'What the fuck?'" She corrected him.

Gin skipped over, "So what's goin on here?" He spotted Renji; his eerie smile grew larger. With the skill of a salesman, the fox pulled the pineapple head over to another car. "Can I interest you in a car, young man? How about this Bugatti Veyron? It's sure to please the ladies!" He said, giving Renji a wink. This seemed to disturb him the most. The Shinigami sighed, "Ok. How much?"

"$1,700,000."

Renji's jaw dropped to the floor, "How does someone have that much money to waste on a car?!" Nnoitra slinked over to the red and black Bugatti. "Hmmm . . . nice car. How much?" Gin thought for a moment, "Hn . . . $2,000,000."

"How about $20?"

"Do you take me for a fool, Quinta?"

"You're right . . . how about $10?" **Gin** _Spoon-man_

"**No. $2,000,000."**

"_$1,500,000."_

"**$2,000,000."**

"_$1,500,000."_

"**$1,700,000."**

"_$1,400,000."_

"**$1,700,000."**

"_$1,400,000."_

"**$1,600,000."**

"_$1,000,000."_

"**$1,500,000. Take it or leave it."** Gin ended the haggling session. Nnoitra frowned; "I had better luck with Starrk . . ." He walked away. "You see, Kurosaki. You want a car, you gotta buy. Or haggle. But I must warn you, I'm good at haggling." She warned the beery head before skipping off. "Wasn't she that Emo arrancar?" "Yeah. But she bumped her head and now the workings of her mind, once predictable, are now an enigma." Gin scared the living daylights out of the teen by sneaking up behind him.

"Hey Gin?" Grimmjow called out to the silver fox. "Yes Grimmy-chan?!"

"How much?"

He could get use to this car. It was nice. It was fast.

And most importantly, it gave Ichigo a concussion.

~*~

**Do you like? Remember, 5 Reviews Before Update Policy! Yes! I am reinforcing this policy. And one of those reviews has to have an idea. A mayhem inducing idea. She could also have an accomplice . . . say Grimmjow on the Nip? Or maybe Gin again? Or Szayel on a sugar high? **

**Another **_**BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!**_

**Amnesia? Is that my name? will have a sequel. Just as soon as I figure out what to call it . . . Orihime will be in it! **


	7. Ulquiorra is Szayels BFF or so she says

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**Hehehe, Hello all you out there in Reader Land! Azelf1717, thank you for adding to this chapter. I estimate . . . . 3 more chapters left before this story's done. But never fear! The Sequel is near! I've got nothing else to say up here so . . .**

_Szayel: Yesterday-chan owns this idea and every other idea she has and will come up with. She does not own Bleach. Thank Aizen for that._

**Damn Pinky! Why are you so mean?! I'll gender swap you next!**

_Szayel: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!_

**I'm not buying it.**

~*~

Ulquiorra is Szayel's self-proclaimed Best Friend

Szayel sighed.

"Can you watch Ulquiorra for me? I got a mission. See ya, thanks!" The Sexta said, pushing his temporary fraccion towards the pinkette. He disappeared down the hallway before the Octava could answer. "Hello Octava." The dark haired arrancar smiled brightly as she greeted the Espada.

"Ulquiorra don't touch that!" The bespectacled man snapped. Ulquiorra's index finger curled back, away from the glowing green test tube rack. "Octava!" She barked, "I'm a higher rank than you! Don't order me around like a dog!"

Szayel blinked, "You're a fraccion. As an Espada, I have a higher rank -" "Ah, no you don't. Last time I checked, _4_was _better_ than _8_." Ulquiorra interrupted in her know-it-all voice. "You remember???!!!" He nearly shouted, beaming with anticipation. "Remember what? What is there to fuckin' remember? I just know I have a fuckin' four right here!" she gestured to the area where her heart would have been. "Wanna see?" Szayel blushed and shook his head.

"And just because I'm a fraccion, doesn't mean I'm fuckin' weaker than you." She stated, crossing her arms and turning her head away. "Trash." she added as an afterthought.

Szayel's fingers twitched towards Fomicaras, but he quickly thought better of the impulse. Had he drawn his sword and attacked, Ulquiorra could destroy him. If, per chance, she didn't, the feline arrancar that was her master would. Grimmjow would beat the tar out of him, shove it back in, and beat it out again. Because, after evaluating Grimmjow's reactions to Ulquiorra's antics, the pink headed arrancar determined that he secretly liked the amnesiac arrancar.

Hell, Grimmjow himself probably didn't even know that he liked the girl. But one thing about the new Ulquiorra was that she was easier to like than her pre-accident self.

"There's an Espada meeting and I don't trust you alone. So you're going to sit in the corner and be quiet. Ok?" Szayel informed the willowy female. She nodded solemnly, but bit her lip with her 'hurt look' on her doll-like face. "Why don't you trust me?!" She whispered. Szayel opened up his mouth but Ulquiorra interrupted him, "Best friends are supposed to trust each other! I'm your Best Friend! You're supposed to trust me! I trust you! Why don't you trust me?! Master trusts me! Why don't you?" Szayel opened his mouth to answer, but that wasn't what came out of his mouth.

"Grimmjow trusts you? If he trusts you, then why did he leave you with me?"

Ulquiorra let out an exaggerated sigh, "Master has _paranoia_. (she drew out the word to add to its effect) He doesn't trust Quinta. _Or_ Decima. _Or_ Segunda. And I said I wanted to spend the day with my Best Friend! So Master dropped me off here!"

Szayel raised an eyebrow, Grimmjow? Protecting his worst enemy? Or maybe, since Ulquiorra was less harmless than a newborn kitten, his minimalist of a fraccion was worth protecting.

Catching sight of the clock on his wall, the Octava swore loudly, causing Ulquiorra to make a scathing noise. Hypocrite. "We're late!" He screamed, roughly grabbing hold of the girl's wrist and zooming down the hallway. "No! You're late! I don't have to go!" Ulquiorra corrected the pinkette.

~*~

"Aizen-sama I apologize for my tardiness." Szayel said upon entering. Ulquiorra walked in behind him and whistled, "This place is big . . ." "Ulquiorra. Nice to see you . . . haven't . . . remembered, have you?" Aizen faltered at the end when he realized the ex-Cuarta hadn't regained her memories. Green eyes flashed dangerously with anger, but Ulquiorra didn't show her fury in her words, "Hello Aizen-sama! Hey Gin-san, Tousen-san! 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 10! Hi!" Several of those greeted by the girl returned the warm feelings; such as Gin, who waved, Halibel, who gave her a brief "hi", and Luppi, who smiled.

Ulquiorra seated herself on the floor in the corner, as her Best Friend had told her. But the kind brunette man politely instructed her to sit in-between Halibel and Nnoitra. The amnesiac's emerald green orbs widened in surprise, but she obediently sat in the tall chair. The giant next door loomed over her like a storm cloud; she shuddered. "Nnoitra, it would be greatly appreciated if you would pay attention." Aizen called attention to the spoon, forcing him to back off.

Aizen gave a briefing on the status of all this stuff that Ulquiorra didn't really care about. Luckily, she woke up just as the King of Hueco Mundo asked if there were any questions.

"Aizen-sama! I have a question!" All heads turned to the high, hyper voice. "Ulquiorra?" Aizen raised an eyebrow. The girl smiled, "Yup! I wanna know why we always get tea! No likes it! Tea would be better if we had cookies to go with it! Can we have cookies?" Gin giggled, "Ulqui-chan is a genius!" All the Espada stared at the silver fox. Ulquiorra just blinked innocently, "Thank you . . .?"

~*~

"I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty! I feel so pretty and witty and _gay!"_

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves-"

Two figures skipped up and down the hallway. One, a slim dark haired female, the other a tall pink headed male. Ulquiorra let out loud, crazed laughter, "-And this is how it goes-"

"What is going on?" Halibel asked Nnoitra, who had observed the two get high off sugar. "Sugar rush. It's very entertaining . . ."

Szayel skipped up to Nnoitra, and with a big jump, managed to peck the mantis on the lips. "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay-" He scream/sang as he skipped away. Ulquiorra whistled from behind Nnoitra. The Quinta spun around to hit the annoying brat, but stopped when he realized she was whistling Darth Vader's Theme song while watching Aaroniero cross the hall. She stopped when he escaped her sight.

The clueless girl scanned the area quickly, "Where'd my best friend go?!" Halibel pointed up the hall. "He abandoned me! Ooooooo . . . I'm telling!" She called as she pranced after him.

Nnoitra fingered his mouth, dazed. WTF?!

Ulquiorra raced down the hall and found Szayel rummaging through his drawers, searching fervently for . . . something of apparent value. "I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shrieked, holding up a small blue tube like it was the Holy Grail. "What is it?" The ex-Cuarta questioned, interested in the little tube.

"WHY IT'S ONLY MY GREATEST INVENTION!" The pink scientist shouted. "Super Super Super Super Glue!" "Super Glue?" Ulquiorra repeated, confused. "No, Super Super Super Super Glue." "Oh! Super Super Super Super Glue!" She confirmed. Szayel nodded sagely. "I have an idea!" Ulquiorra beamed as her creative enigma she called a brain hatched an idea.

Szayel was all ears.

~*~

"Gin. Can you help me?" Aizen pleaded. The silver haired man skipped over to his superior. "What's tha problem, Sosuke?" He asked with his incriminating smile. "I can't pick up my tea cup." Gin sweatdroped. "Uh . . . Aizen? Ain't ya suppose ta be tha all powerful leader? An ya can't pink up yer tea cup?"

" . . . Well you try!" Gin grabbed the handle and lifted the cup like normal.

Except it didn't lift. The white porcelain refused to move. Gin's smile faltered for a split second before he tried again. And again, and again, and again . . . "Sosuke, I'm gonna go get'cha 'nother cup a tea . . ." He muttered humiliated after his 32-ed try. Aizen made a move to get up, but he failed to budge. Gin stormed out of the room, a slight pout on his face.

"Gin?" The brunette called out. "Gin? Can you help me? I appear to be stuck. Gin?!"

"GIN?!"

~*~

Ulquiorra stared at the bubble covered box. "Mega-Suds?" She stared at it for a good couple seconds, the smiled. "It has possibilities."

~*~

"THE END IS NYE! LAS NOCHES IS FLOODING!" Usually calm Halibel screamed as she ran into Aizen's quarters. She ran in circles, arms raised above her head, screaming about the "Apocalypse!" She took no notice of her leader's mortified expression, of his hoarse pleas for help. "Halibel, please help . . . I've been super glued to my throne-" "HOLY SHIT AIZEN CAN'T HELP US! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AGAIN!" She screamed loudly before making a mad dash to the massive double doors that formed the entrance to Aizen's throne room.

The Tercera threw open the doors only to be suffocated by a wave of soap bubbles. Soon not a bit of the woman could be seen. She was completely submerged in bubbles. Aizen stared at the bubble wave of impending doom, unable to move, unable to escape.

He was so screwed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

~*~

An hour after his sugar rush had ceased to be and Las Noches was bubble-free (for the most part), Szayel returned to his lab. He was brooding about his actions, the actions he was not proud of. The Super Super Super Super Glue and the Mega-Suds were not the actions that bothered him. It was the _other_ one . . . How embarrassing, to have kissed his superior . . . And it was Nnoitra. _Nnoitra_. "He feels pretty! Oh so pretty! He feels pretty and witty and GAY!" Ulquiorra sang in her spot in the corner, laughing her head off at the Grantz's dilemma. The man glared at her, immediately causing her to shut up.

After an hour of a suspicious silence, the pinkette glanced up and nearly had a heart attack. Ulquiorra was playing around with some of his scientific concoctions. She held two test tubes in her hands, both filled with two different explosive compounds. Szayel fainted when she mixed them together. Ulquiorra dropped the explosive and ran to the Octava's side just before the small tube blew up.

"Best Friend? Best Friend, are you ok? Best Friend? Best Frieeeeeeee-end!" Ulquiorra trilled. Szayel didn't respond. "Oh no! Best Friend fainted!" The amnesiac shrieked. She nudged him with her white booted toe. No response.

"Well, if Best Friend is sleeping, than I gonna let him take his nap." She decided, stepping over him and quietly tip-toeing out of his room. She stared at the drawing that spanned the whole wall. She smiled, happy that everyone liked it. Emerald orbs scanned the drawing for her favorite arrancar. Slowly, almost tentatively, the girl made her way to the strip of wall that was Grimmjow.

"Hello Master," She said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I miss you . . . a lot. Octava is my Best Friend, but nothing's - . . . you understand, right?" The picture did not reply. "Yeah, I knew you would. When are you coming back?" She questioned the painted wall. It was amazing; _Grimmjow's picture didn't say anything_. "Ok," Ulquiorra replied, obviously she heard something, "Promise?"

The raven haired girl sighed heavily, and walked back to the door that had the gothic black 8.

When Szayel came to, he found Ulquiorra sitting on the examination bed throwing objects at something on the ceiling. A closer inspection revealed that she was tossing objects at a helium balloon on his ceiling. When asked why, the dark headed arrancar merely replied, "I am trying to pop it."

"Where did you get a helium balloon?" Szayel asked as he saw Ulquiorra chuck a pencil and miss spectacularly. "I have my ways." She stated mysteriously with a grin as the pen she fired at the balloon struck its target with a small 'pop'.

~*~

"Master!" The troublesome girl shouted, running up and tackling Grimmjow to the ground in a hug. "You're back!" "Yeah, now get off!" He hissed. Being the obedient little fraccion she was now, Ulquiorra detached herself from the tired Espada.

"I'm gonna go sleep. Don't bother me." He growled as he sauntered towards his room. Familiar sniffles made him turn around. Ulquiorra stood a few feet back, tears following the green marks on her ivory face. The bluenette walked over to his fraccion and gave her a small smile. "Guess you must have been lonely. You probably got into a lot of trouble too." An ivory fist came up and gently rubbed the tears from her vivid emerald eyes, black and white lips turned up in a smile, and she nodded.

"Best Friend and I had lots of fun."

~*~

**Hoped you liked this addition to my story! I gotta say, after writing all that serious stuff, It's good to just sit back and type some hilarity . . . . If you likey my story, REVIEW! My ****5 Reviews Before Update**** policy still stands, so please review.**


	8. Ulquiorra is naive

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**This Chapter is all thanks to my best friend, Gracemewithoblivion. She edited, revised, added, and all together made it better. So say thank you peoples!**

~*~

Ulquiorra is naive

The cling of metal rang out. Grimmjow slashed violently with Pantera. Ulquiorra artfully dodged with a flip and countered with a rough kick to his chest. The amnesiac was an excellent fighter, even more so now because it looked like she enjoyed it. Grimmjow grimaced and a few carefully planned moves later his sword was at the girl's throat.

"You have to be careful kid, it's not a game . . . You lose, you die." Grimmjow chided the ex-Cuarta. She only smiled and then WHAM! Grimmjow's cyan orbs widened in surprise. A small moan escaped his lips and the Panther collapsed on his face in the sand. Nnoitra, who was observing from a far, made a sympathetic noise. He practically felt that kick. Poor Grimmjow, that had to hurt.

"Master? . . . Master, are you ok?" Ulquiorra nudged the man with the toe of her boot. -nudge-nudge-nudge- "Hey. He's hurtin' now. Ya got 'em in the nuts. He's not ok. Go fight someone else." The Quinta ordered as he walked over to the hurting man.

"Can I fight you?"

"No."

With that, the little arrancar ran off into the castle. The giant spoon turned to the lump of flesh that was Grimmjow. "Nice. Ya got beaten by 'er 'gain an' this time ya coulda' won. But ya didn't. Amnesia an' she still pawns ya!" The Quinta howled. Grimmjow slowly got to his feet, scowling. "I'm gonna kill her." He hissed.

Wounded cat coming through!

Grimmjow made his way from the training grounds to Las Noches, fuming. By the time he reached the castle's big doors, he was livid. Payback was eminent… Then he saw Ulquiorra with her arms wrapped around her legs, head buried in her knees, crying.

"Ulquiorra? Are you ok?" He gave himself a mental kick for the stupid question. "What's wrong?" He asked instead, crouching down to her level. A sniffle was his reply. "Ulquiorra-!" Grimmjow stopped speaking when the petite arrancar latched herself around his waist.

"I don't wanna fight Master. I hurt you. I don't like fighting. I just remembered that!" She sobbed into his chest. The Sexta briefly wondered if she really had remembered. Ulquiorra broke out into fresh sobs, hugging the man tighter. A bright blush lit up his cheeks. He felt droplets of water, tears, run down his bare chest.

Grimmjow slowly wrapped his arms around the small ivory frame of Ulquiorra. She was warm.

~*~

Grimmjow woke up to a very interesting position: Ulquiorra was sound asleep on his lap, her face buried in the crook of his neck. His arms were wrapped around the girl. Heat rose to his face. As he noticed the few passing arrancar stealing glances at the two.

How was he going to explain this?

~*~

Word of Grimmjow and Ulquiorra getting together spread like wildfire.

Even though it was a lie.

"So 'ave ya done anythin' together? I bet she screams . . ." Nnoitra snickered. "I think it's cute. They make a cute couple." Luppi added his opinion. Halibel spoke up, "Hurt her and die." She gave him a warning glare too. "What the hell?! Me and Ulquiorra aren't together! I found her crying in the hallway and I just stopped to ask what was wrong! Next thing I know she's in my lap sound asleep!" Grimmjow tried to defend himself. But then that smartass Szayel decided to squish his alibi.

"The fact that you stopped to ask what was wrong proves you do care."

Grimmjow growled and stormed out of the Espada's living room. He did not like Ulquiorra. "I don't like Ulquiorra." He huffed the thought aloud.

"Master doesn't like me?"

Grimmjow spun around faster than thought possible. Ulquiorra stood a few feet away, shock and hurt plainly depicted on her face. "Ulquiorra –" The Sexta began to explain, but the girl took off before he had the chance.

Tears flooded viridian orbs and spilled down her ivory cheeks. Small feet pounded the tile and in seconds, Ulquiorra was outside. Blinking as her eyes adjusted to the fake sun of Las Noches, Ulquiorra trekked on. With Murciélago at her hip she was put at ease.

Menos passed her often, and every now and then she'd make a snack out of one.

After a few hours the fraccion had discovered a small crevice in a large desert rock. It wasn't big or deep enough to be considered a cave, but the petite girl crawled inside and found it quite comfortable nonetheless. She had a shelter, far from the castle, far away from the lying people.

So her master didn't like her. He had said it himself. How could he have said that? She was a good fraccion.

Wasn't she?

~*~

Grimmjow ran through the corridors, rounding up every arrancar he came upon. He asked for their aid, but most were cynical of his request. Once he mentioned that it was Ulquiorra he was searching for and that she had gone missing, they were on board and ready to find her. Every being in Las Noches had a soft spot for the green-eyed fraccion.

Soon all the Espada, a few números, a handful of fraccion plus Gin were searching the desolate plane of Hueco Mundo.

"Ulquiorra . . . I'm sorry . . ."

~*~

"Am I a good fraccion?" Her voice sounded raw from crying. She pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and buried her face in her knees. Wet marks of grief spill from her moist viridian orbs, following the green trails down her pale face.

"If Master doesn't like me . . . I guess I'm not . . ." More tears, spilling from her eyes and dropping on her skirt and the warm sand.

Then it came.

A splitting headache.

The arrancar clasped her raven head in her hands. Pain flooded her senses and she was taken elsewhere.

_- She was in the human world. Trees surrounded the clearing she stood in. Before her was a cocky, one armed Yammy. An orange headed boy, a Shinigami, lay in front of her. He was badly injured, but he struggled to his feet, ready to fight. -_

_-Another carrot top, this one female, was standing up to Yammy even though she was human. -_

_-A tall, solidly built Mexican boy was hit badly by one of Yammy's attacks. He lay on his back, breathing ragged.-_

Memories flooded her mind. Bits and pieces, once hidden away in her subconscious, floated to the surface. She was Ulquiorra Shiffer, Cuarta Espada, barer of Murciélago.

"I want it to stop! Make it stop! Stop it!" The ivory girl screamed as she clutched her head. "STOP IT! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" she begged, her past was too painful. It was easier to forget than to remember.

~*~

Ulquiorra was found by Luppi. He carried her bridal style towards the search party's rendezvous and flared his reiatsu. The signal indicating she was found. Arrancar began returning in seconds.

Somewhat aware of her surroundings, Ulquiorra saw, through her half-lidded eyes, the worry etched on each face. The worry gave way to smiles and small cheers of "She's ok!"

She especially remembered one face bearing both worry and guilt.

". . . Master . . ."

~*~

**End Chapter 7! REVIEW!**


	9. Ulquiorra got a ShutUp Kiss

Amnesia? Is that my name?

**Here we go . . .**

~*~

Ulquiorra got a Shut-up Kiss

She'd been sick for a week. Tossing and turning in her sleep, screaming out at random times, often waking him up. A high fever made her delirious. But she was currently recovering her strength, her fever and delirium broken.

She slept on his bed, Grimmjow got the floor. He could've left her in her own room. Heck, he could've left her out alone in Hueco Mundo. But he didn't. No, instead he gave up his bed and tended to his sick fraccion. He had to admit, he cared, if only a little bit.

"Master . . . hates . . . me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trash . . . . . . . . . . Cero . . . Trash . . . . . . . . . . . Spoon . . . . . . . . . Aizen-sama . . . . . . . . Grimmjow . . . . . . . . Cuarta . . . Despair . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cookies . . . Grimm . . . jow . . . . . . . . . Luppi . . . . . . . Cream . . . . Grimm . . . . . . . . . . . Smile . . . . . . . . . Burrito . . . . . . . AHHHH!" Ulquiorra woke with a start, screaming and hugging herself. Grimmjow set on the edge and calmly pulled the petite girl into his lap.

"Shh . . . c'mon, s'ok . . . stop yer cryin . . . Ulquiorra . . ." He wrapped his arms around her. She clung to his jacket's collar and sobbed into his chest. He just held her close, trying to console her. Soon her weeping was reduced to sniffles.

" . . . Master . . . I'm hungry." Ulquiorra lied. The Sexta sighed, "Ok." After he left, the ex-Cuarta stole away from the door with the gothic six. Careful to not attract any attention at the late hour, she tip-toed to a certain fraccion's room. A quick rap and a bleary Telsa opened the door.

"Ulqui-yawn-orra?" "Telsa, you're the smartest-" "You're looking for Szayel-sama." He deadpanned. "No . . . Not in this area." She whispered, breathless. Telsa blinked, or winked, seeing as he only had one eye. "What's it like . . . . . . to be in love?" Telsa blushed. "Ulqui-chan . . . I-I'm afraid I can't answer tha-"

-smack-

She hit the boy upside his head, glaring daggers at him. "Listen up _Porkers_, I don't like being lied to." She hissed, grabbing a fistful of his collar. She let go, looking even more hopelessly confused. She steeled herself for one final attack, "I know about you and Nnoitra_. I remember_."

Telsa paled, "You remember? Then why are you all -" "I don't remember all of it dumbass! Just some parts! What the hell?! Have you ever thought that maybe I don't wanna fucking remember?!" She whispered furiously. Telsa nodded, pretending to understand.

"Love . . . Love feels . . . it feels wonderful when it's recognized. There's nothing like it when it's returned. It hurts terribly when it's shrugged. It wounds when it's manipulated. It's one of the strongest feelings that one can have . . . But it has to be given, to be received." Telsa finished his explanation, leaving Ulquiorra wondering which love the other had for the Quinta.

She managed to slip back into Grimmjow's room before he returned with a sandwich. She took a slow bite and chewed thoughtfully. "Hey Master?" She asked after a few bites. "Huh?" He grunted. "Have you ever been in love?"

"That's by far the weirdest question you've ever asked me."

"Well have you?"

" . . . . . Um . . . . No?" **(LIAR!)**

" . . . Oh . . . ok."

~*~

The next day, Ulquiorra rose early. Not even bothering to change out of her pajamas (a baggy black shirt and sweatpants), she dashed out of the room. Straight to the most experienced person she knew, besides her master.

Halibel.

She knocked on the Tercera's door gently. She answered the door looking very surprised. "Ulquiorra?! You're feeling better all ready?!" The ivory skinned girl sighed, "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What does love feel like?"

The darker skinned woman seemed taken aback at the question, but she answered quickly, "Love is an amazing feeling . . ." She ended up saying pretty much what Telsa said the night before. She smiled and decided to ask someone else.

~*~

"Nnoitra-sama, what does it feel like to love?" The spoon smiled wickedly as he, in great detail, explained the love making process. During the lecture, Ulquiorra's expression morphed from one of confusion to one of pure horror. "EWW THAT'S DISGUSTING! YOU'RE SICK!" She screamed as she ran down the hall.

Colliding with Tousen had been a wonderful accident. She asked her question. He gave her an answer that didn't even remotely relate to the question. She left while he was in the middle of his justice-rant.

Wandering around into the throne room she found Aizen sitting among the pretty fireworks she'd painted during her 'Color Las Noches!' crusade. "Ulquiorra . . ."

"Aizen-sama? What does love feel like? I keep asking others but they never give a good description . . . Nnoitra's was the worst . . . It was gross . . . Do men really shove their penis up-"

"Ulquiorra," Aizen managed to cut her off, "To answer your question. Love is an immense feeling of devotion and affection towards another. When you're in love you tend to feel happy when that special person is around. Do you love someone Ulquiorra?"

"I think so . . . I'm not sure."

"Well, tell Grimmjow that he is a very lucky arrancar."

"Aizen-sama, how did you know that?"

"I know everything that goes on within this castle."

"Did you know that Gin ate the last Twinke?"

"I wasn't aware there were any left . . ."

"That's cause Gin ate the last one."

"I see . . ."

"Thanks Aizen-sama!"

The King of Arrancar smiled as the naïve girl skipped out of the room. A few moments later, a blonde figure entered the hall. "Aizen-sama." He greeted respectfully. "Telsa." The brunette acknowledged the blonde boy. "I feel terrible for saying this . . . But Ulquiorra herself told me . . . She remembers." Aizen sat up straighter. "I conversed with her not long ago . . . She appeared to still have amnesia."

"That is interesting information. Thank you Telsa." The boy bowed respectfully and left.

_She only remembers parts. The parts that don't remotely relate with her. Perhaps remembering would be harmful for her. . . This would be the logical explanation . . ._

"Gin" Aizen called out to his subordinate Shinigami, "Call the Espada for a meeting. And bring Ulquiorra."

"Yes Aizen-sama."

"And Gin . . ."

"Yes?"

"Did you eat the last Twinkie?"

_No one eats Sosuke's Twinkies!_

~*~

Nine Espada, three ex-Shinigami, and one Ulquiorra were in the meeting hall an hour later. "Ulquiorra. You are being reinstated as the Cuarta Espada." Aizen's voice projected through the room. "You will also be head interrogator. That was Gin's idea." The brunette added as a side announcement. Everyone looked at her. "Thank you!" She beamed.

"Dismissed." As the Espada filed out, Ulquiorra seized the opportunity to glomp Grimmjow. "I'm your superior again! It'll be just like it use to be, Kittycar!" " . . . I think you crushed my spleen . . ." "Grimmy!" She crowed.

"What?" He snapped as her rubbed his bruised ribs.

"I love you." She chirped.

" . . . What?!" The Sexta blinked, surprised.

"I don't like repeating myself. I don't like cooking either . . ."

"Ulquiorra."

"I don't like trash. I don't like Charlotte. Um . . . I don't like oatmeal . . Liars, I don't like liars . . ."

"Ulquiorra!"

"I don't like math or science . . . Hmmm . . . I don't like quiet-ness . . . Or lazi-mmph!"

Grimmjow, tired of the Cuarta's ranting, had silenced her with a rough kiss. He pulled back and wiped away the string of spit that connected their mouths. "Just . . . Shut up, ok?" Ulquiorra nodded numbly, open mouthed. "Does that mean you love me?" She asked, her voice barely audible. The Panther didn't reply. The longer the silence lasted the more worry grew in her emerald eyes.

Grimmjow involuntarily winced. He'd didn't like to see her in pain. In a matter of seconds, a stunned Cuarta was wrapped in his arms. "Yeah . . . It does." He whispered in her ear, nibbling on the ivory skin a bit. Ulquiorra giggled as her thin arms snaked around his neck.

Grimmjow wasn't lying.

~*~

Ulquiorra sat on top of one of the many turrets of Las Noches. She gazed at the perpetual desert and smiled.

Maybe amnesia was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Not that she would know.

After all, she had amnesia.

~*~

**It is finite! All done! Thank you my faithful reviews, and this is the end!**


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